TWtwhgT
The Whole Thing When He Got There
“Nick-nack-paddy-wack, give a dog a bone
Got him runnin' home, fuck him good, get that money flow
Pussy got him goin' places he would never go
Pussy got him cookin', now he wanna clean the stove
Pussy got him fucked up, I think he overdosed” - Seneca
This is a still from a rejected diarrhea medicine commercial pitch I was a part of in 2001. During this time @mentos style ads were all the rage and the idea was to show a man defecating off the side of his boat followed by a scene in the drug store purchasing the product. The closing sequence shows the same man out on his boat laughing and having a great time with attractive women. This time he doesn’t need to use the bathroom. The commercial ends with him holding out the product toward camera and grinning. The client never told us why the pitch was rejected.
“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster...for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” - Niel DeGrasse Tyson
This piece is featured above an article by Samantha Redfern at Mag Mag this week. She delves into the deepening issues of lonely people during the Covid-19 quarantine. Redfern speaks with a young man named Max who lives on his own in a 10 bedroom mansion in Malibu. “This place used to be packed with people on Friday and Saturdays. The grotto was always full of hot chicks and we had a sushi bar over there. Since this whole pandemic thing I’ve barely even been able to get any good sushi at all. I started making little forts in some of the different rooms to sleep in, just to switch it up. Last night I slept in the theater room and that was kind of cool...sometimes I just walk around this place and look at all this cool stuff and I’m like what’s it all for now?” #quarantine
This piece is featured in New Frontiers alongside an article by Desmond Greene discussing the ‘possibility paradox’ put forward by renowned social psychologist Dr. Wilhelm Sarkozy. Sarkozy outlines the paradox on a whiteboard in his office nestled in the suburbs outside of Philadelphia. He draws a horizontal line and labels it ‘inertness’ and a vertical axis he labels ‘perceived possibility’. Sarkozy turns around and smiles as he draws a ray at a 45 degree angle issuing from the axes intersection. “That goes on forever” he quips. Sarkozy’s hypothesis is that as perceived possibility increases, inertness or “doing nothing” increases as well. His research centers mainly around unearthing the motivational structures that create this paradox. When probed for his take on the preliminary data he jests, “anything is possible.”
“What happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable object? They surrender.” - Superman
“Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy, diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie” - Dr. Seuss
"To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest." - Mahatma Gandhi
“Past Curfew” speaks to the realization of our covert endeavors by another. Our plans and schemes and maneuvers being exposed to the light of criticism. We are nostalgic for the days when the world was frivolously perilous, where all that we had to fear was the petty tyranny of our parents. We extend our frivolity into adulthood for as long as we can manage before the gravity of our deeds cast long shadows upon the noisy carpet of our nature, exposing our darkness to us for the first time. In this moment we are confronted with our dereliction and our responsibility. In this moment of transgression we learn the meaning of our failings, and if we are wise, we make a silent vow to never repeat them. Unless it’s not that big a deal then it’s chill.
“Beefcake” is featured in Brandeis Fitness Periodical beside an article by Sheldon Plunk discussing homeopathic hormone activation. “....the age old adage of ‘we are what we eat’ may be true. Scientists at the Markorviardet Lab in Istanbul have confirmed that on a cellular level, the phrase strong as an ox is not far off. Dr. Cornell Sveki explains that the mitochondrial output of a regular beef eater directly mirrors that of a full grown male bull. This has several health effects including increased testosterone production and muscle growth. This exciting cutting edge research has everyone from the pharmaceutical industry to Silicon Valley licking their chops while looking for the best cut of the potential profits. All of this excitement leaves would be investors and interested fitness professionals to ask a borrowed question from a turn of the 21st century ad campaign, “Where’s the beef?” - Sheldon Plunk
“We’re on a planet.” - man on LSD
Namaḥ means 'bow', 'obeisance', 'reverential salutation' or 'adoration' and te means 'to you''. Therefore, Namaste literally means "bowing to you". In Hinduism, it also has a spiritual import reflecting the belief that "the divine and self (atman, soul) are the same in you and me", and connotes "I bow to the divine in you".
“I meant to write you sooner but I’ve just been busy.” - @eminem
“Michael Jackedson”
Bag Boys: Episode 2
Scientists recently observed an energy beam coming from a supermassive black hole traveling at nearly the speed of light. Conjecture has run wild in the astronomy community while certain prominent US officials have remained uncharacteristically silent on the matter. I was commissioned to provide a rendering of what scientists hypothesize may be the cause of the phenomenon.
This piece is featured in TimeIn this month beside an article by Stedman Abernathy about the long term physiological effects of social mapping through virtual interfaces. The article suggests that the need for physical human touch could be supplanted by the like or affirmation architecture of social media if human beings were forced into prolonged isolation by contagion or interstellar travel.
“I’ll Be Back” - Jesus
"While certain health professionals believe it's the caffeine in coffee that causes heightened motor activity — or contractions — in the colon, the Gut study found that in certain individuals even decaffeinated coffee stimulates the need to defecate. This led the researchers to conclude that it's not caffeine, but some other substance in coffee that's responsible for the drink's reputation as a purgative." - Poop Quarterly
“Welcome to Wallmart” - Mark McDougall, Greeter
“Blow Job” is featured in this month’s issue of @menshealthmag beside an article by Jeremy Pitman discussing the troubling associations between gun violence and STIs.
“Both the eyes are one-sided. For the perfect balance, you need Shiva’s third eye.” - Tapan Ghosh
Bag Boyz: Episode 1
“People trample over flowers, yet only to embrace a cactus.” - James Joyce
“I’m freakin pumped! I’ve been drinkin’ green tea all Goddamned day!”
“The focus of the system is a space habitat where 10,000 people work, raise families, and live out normal human lives. Figure 1-1.shows the wheel-like structure in which they live. This structure orbits the Earth in the same orbit as the Moon in a stable position that is equidistant from both Earth and Moon. This is called the Lagrangian libration point, L5. The habitat consists of a tube 130 m (427 ft) in diametral cross section bent into a wheel 1790 m (over 1 mi) in diameter. The people live in the ring-shaped tube which is connected by six large access routes (spokes) to a central hub where incoming spacecraft dock. These spokes are 15 m (48 ft) in diameter and provide entry and exit to the living and agricultural areas in the tubular region. To simulate Earth's normal gravity the entire habitat rotates at one revolution per minute about the central hub.”
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” - Martin Luther King Jr.
“Swim upstream” - Salmon
“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.” - Rumi
“All the gods, they cannot sever us. If I were dead and you were still fighting for life, I'd come back from the darkness. Back from the pit of hell to fight at your side.” - Valeria
“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” - Stephen King
