“Nick-nack-paddy-wack, give a dog a bone
Got him runnin' home, fuck him good, get that money flow
Pussy got him goin' places he would never go
Pussy got him cookin', now he wanna clean the stove
Pussy got him fucked up, I think he overdosed” - Seneca
This is a still from a rejected diarrhea medicine commercial pitch I was a part of in 2001. During this time @mentos style ads were all the rage and the idea was to show a man defecating off the side of his boat followed by a scene in the drug store purchasing the product. The closing sequence shows the same man out on his boat laughing and having a great time with attractive women. This time he doesn’t need to use the bathroom. The commercial ends with him holding out the product toward camera and grinning. The client never told us why the pitch was rejected.
“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster...for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.” - Niel DeGrasse Tyson
This piece is featured above an article by Samantha Redfern at Mag Mag this week. She delves into the deepening issues of lonely people during the Covid-19 quarantine. Redfern speaks with a young man named Max who lives on his own in a 10 bedroom mansion in Malibu. “This place used to be packed with people on Friday and Saturdays. The grotto was always full of hot chicks and we had a sushi bar over there. Since this whole pandemic thing I’ve barely even been able to get any good sushi at all. I started making little forts in some of the different rooms to sleep in, just to switch it up. Last night I slept in the theater room and that was kind of cool...sometimes I just walk around this place and look at all this cool stuff and I’m like what’s it all for now?” #quarantine
This piece is featured in New Frontiers alongside an article by Desmond Greene discussing the ‘possibility paradox’ put forward by renowned social psychologist Dr. Wilhelm Sarkozy. Sarkozy outlines the paradox on a whiteboard in his office nestled in the suburbs outside of Philadelphia. He draws a horizontal line and labels it ‘inertness’ and a vertical axis he labels ‘perceived possibility’. Sarkozy turns around and smiles as he draws a ray at a 45 degree angle issuing from the axes intersection. “That goes on forever” he quips. Sarkozy’s hypothesis is that as perceived possibility increases, inertness or “doing nothing” increases as well. His research centers mainly around unearthing the motivational structures that create this paradox. When probed for his take on the preliminary data he jests, “anything is possible.”
“What happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable object? They surrender.” - Superman
“Bawitdaba, da bang, da dang diggy diggy, diggy, said the boogie, said up jump the boogie” - Dr. Seuss
"To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest." - Mahatma Gandhi
“Past Curfew” speaks to the realization of our covert endeavors by another. Our plans and schemes and maneuvers being exposed to the light of criticism. We are nostalgic for the days when the world was frivolously perilous, where all that we had to fear was the petty tyranny of our parents. We extend our frivolity into adulthood for as long as we can manage before the gravity of our deeds cast long shadows upon the noisy carpet of our nature, exposing our darkness to us for the first time. In this moment we are confronted with our dereliction and our responsibility. In this moment of transgression we learn the meaning of our failings, and if we are wise, we make a silent vow to never repeat them. Unless it’s not that big a deal then it’s chill.
“Beefcake” is featured in Brandeis Fitness Periodical beside an article by Sheldon Plunk discussing homeopathic hormone activation. “....the age old adage of ‘we are what we eat’ may be true. Scientists at the Markorviardet Lab in Istanbul have confirmed that on a cellular level, the phrase strong as an ox is not far off. Dr. Cornell Sveki explains that the mitochondrial output of a regular beef eater directly mirrors that of a full grown male bull. This has several health effects including increased testosterone production and muscle growth. This exciting cutting edge research has everyone from the pharmaceutical industry to Silicon Valley licking their chops while looking for the best cut of the potential profits. All of this excitement leaves would be investors and interested fitness professionals to ask a borrowed question from a turn of the 21st century ad campaign, “Where’s the beef?” - Sheldon Plunk
“We’re on a planet.” - man on LSD
Namaḥ means 'bow', 'obeisance', 'reverential salutation' or 'adoration' and te means 'to you''. Therefore, Namaste literally means "bowing to you". In Hinduism, it also has a spiritual import reflecting the belief that "the divine and self (atman, soul) are the same in you and me", and connotes "I bow to the divine in you".
“I meant to write you sooner but I’ve just been busy.” - @eminem
“Michael Jackedson”
Bag Boys: Episode 2
Scientists recently observed an energy beam coming from a supermassive black hole traveling at nearly the speed of light. Conjecture has run wild in the astronomy community while certain prominent US officials have remained uncharacteristically silent on the matter. I was commissioned to provide a rendering of what scientists hypothesize may be the cause of the phenomenon.
This piece is featured in TimeIn this month beside an article by Stedman Abernathy about the long term physiological effects of social mapping through virtual interfaces. The article suggests that the need for physical human touch could be supplanted by the like or affirmation architecture of social media if human beings were forced into prolonged isolation by contagion or interstellar travel.
“I’ll Be Back”
"While certain health professionals believe it's the caffeine in coffee that causes heightened motor activity — or contractions — in the colon, the Gut study found that in certain individuals even decaffeinated coffee stimulates the need to defecate. This led the researchers to conclude that it's not caffeine, but some other substance in coffee that's responsible for the drink's reputation as a purgative." - Poop Quarterly
“Welcome to Wallmart” - Mark McDougall, Greeter
“Blow Job” is featured in this month’s issue of @menshealthmag beside an article by Jeremy Pitman discussing the troubling associations between gun violence and STIs.
“Both the eyes are one-sided. For the perfect balance, you need Shiva’s third eye.” - Tapan Ghosh
Bag Boyz: Episode 1
“People trample over flowers, yet only to embrace a cactus.” - James Joyce
“I’m freakin pumped! I’ve been drinkin’ green tea all Goddamned day!”
“The focus of the system is a space habitat where 10,000 people work, raise families, and live out normal human lives. Figure 1-1.shows the wheel-like structure in which they live. This structure orbits the Earth in the same orbit as the Moon in a stable position that is equidistant from both Earth and Moon. This is called the Lagrangian libration point, L5. The habitat consists of a tube 130 m (427 ft) in diametral cross section bent into a wheel 1790 m (over 1 mi) in diameter. The people live in the ring-shaped tube which is connected by six large access routes (spokes) to a central hub where incoming spacecraft dock. These spokes are 15 m (48 ft) in diameter and provide entry and exit to the living and agricultural areas in the tubular region. To simulate Earth's normal gravity the entire habitat rotates at one revolution per minute about the central hub.”
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” - Martin Luther King Jr.
“Swim upstream” - Salmon
“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.” - Rumi
“All the gods, they cannot sever us. If I were dead and you were still fighting for life, I'd come back from the darkness. Back from the pit of hell to fight at your side.” - Valeria
“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” - Stephen King
“That’s what rugs are for”
The RMS Titanic was the world’s largest passenger ship when it entered service, measuring 269 metres (882 feet) in length, and the largest man-made moving object on Earth. The largest passenger vessel is now Harmony of the Seas, at 362.12 metres. *The ship burned around 600 tonnes of coal a day – hand shovelled into its furnaces by a team of 176 men. Almost 100 tonnes of ash were ejected into the sea every 24 hours. *The ship's interiors were loosely inspired by those at the Ritz hotel in London. Facilities on board included a gym, pool, Turkish bath, a kennel for first class dogs, and a squash court. It even had its own on board newspaper – the Atlantic Daily Bulletin. *There were 20,000 bottles of beer on board, 1,500 bottles of wine and 8,000 cigars – all for the use of first-class passengers. *The Grand Staircase on board descended down seven of the ship’s 10 decks and featured oak panelling, bronze cherubs and paintings. *The last supper served to first-class passengers consisted of 11 courses.
"The Egyptian understanding was that old male scarabs buried their balls/eggs into the ground. In the ball, the beetle experienced vital changes, passed through various worm-like stages (the larvae), became a motionless, dead-like corpse (the pupa), and ultimately was born anew from the ball. Egyptian priests thought that what happened to the sun in the ground was not essentially different from scarab metamorphoses. At the end of the day, the sun enters into the ground as does the scarab and his ball. The sun travels underground from west to east, undergoing a mysterious metamorphoses, or khepru, resulting in regeneration. The next morning, the sun rises from the ground rejuvenated, as the scarab god Khepri.
Now, Egyptian scholars or priests further developed their beliefs. If the humble scarab and the glorious sun can be reborn from the ground, after suffering death and undergoing mysterious transformations, why should not this be possible for human beings?"
“The Garden of Even”
“Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones and burn their Asherah poles in the fire; cut down the idols of their gods and wipe out their names from those places.” - Cool Guys who wrote Deuteronomy 12:3
Grower not a shower
“I need a ride or die bitch”
“For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways.” - Psalm 91:11
These hieroglyphics were found etched into an underwater sarcophagus found beneath the Great Pyramid at Giza. These odd symbols do not fit into existing memetic representations found in tombs and seem to suggest the presence of technology yet to be created by our modern civilization.
“Accept whatever comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny, for what could more aptly fit your needs?” -Marcus Aurelius
The Joystick was a @sega game concept that was prototyped in the early 1990s providing the first interface for integrating player’s more intimate body parts into the gaming process. The project never made it to the production phase due to a series of small fires during testing.
“Zagina”
#censorshipzucks
In protest of facebook’s further attempts at online censorship I will be drawing sexual organs censored with Mark Zuckerberg’s face. Despite there being no user demand for less sexual or “inappropriate” content, Facebook has taken it upon themselves to be the arbiters of the appropriate and view-worthy by downtrending sexual content or outright banning it. As Facebook and Instagram increasingly become the virtual public square in which we share the majority of our ideas, the temptation to editorialize this flow of information becomes greater and greater. Platitudes like we are trying to “promote conversation” and make everyone feel welcome are either misguided and naive attempts to control the conversation or a cynical ploy to justify the use of opaque algorithmic manipulations in order to make more money through advertisements. Make instagram chronological again, allow followers to see the accounts that they followed in their feeds, stop solving problems that don’t exist and if you don’t like something you see, don’t follow it. Mr. Zuckerberg please stop trying to push prudish victorian sensibilities on the entirety of your user base and we will happily make you trillions of dollars in ad revenue over the coming years. #censorshipzucks
#censorshipzucks
Splash page design for a random app generator app called Starto launching summer 2019. Starto allows you to search for venture capital while your algorithm-generated billion dollar idea is still in development. Starto’s patented technology allows your business to start growing before it’s even thought up, making you and your investors money before you can even ask, “How?” Preorder Starto in the AppStore today.
This piece will be featured on Facebook’s community guidelines page.
Logo design for a startup called Trapdoor which takes the concept of apps such as Headspace and turns it on it’s head. Instead of promoting mindfulness through boring guided meditations, Trapdoor promotes mindlessness in the truest sense by bombarding your senses with their patented “brain bashing” frequencies synthesized in their sonic labs by combining natural sounds like dying rabbits or orgasming baboons with thrash metal and industrial frequencies. The result is a one of a kind experience that will be sure to obliterate your attention and pound your fried nerves into mincemeat. Try Trapdoor in the Apple AppStore today.
“No. 78353626133”
“Selfish” is featured in @vice accompanying an article by Samantha Tesh about the revolutionary effects of selfies on the medium of photography.
#photography
“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” - Thomas Edison
“At tension” is featured in Jesuit Sanction this month.
“Know thy self, know thy enemy. A thousand battles, a thousand victories.” - Sun Tzu
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” - Jesus
“Perspective requires a fundamental orientation”
“Hands are handy.”- Joes
“Outside Looking In” is an adaptation of Annie set in suburban Connecticut starring Ron Winter and Cinthia Davis. Zac, a newly divorced 45 year old works as a groundskeeper with no direction looking after the estate of Mrs. Henderson, a lonely lush of a retired oil tycoon. Zac comes to the rescue after finding a floating Mrs. Henderson in her monogrammed swimming pool. Much to their mutual surprises, they find in each other the family they always wish they had. Coming to Broadway in October 2019.
“Sup?” is featured in Sign of the Times this month beside an article Ned Wilmington about ancient worldwide depictions of large headed beings with links to a celestial king interfering with the affairs of humanity dating back to the Stone Age. For more information and inspiration check out @dancegod420
“To have and to hold, for as long as you both shall live.” - Rebecca, Officiator at a Kindergarten Wedding
“Complex Industrial Prison” is featured in WokeBae Magazine this month.
Sahasrāra, English: "thousand-petaled") or crown chakra is the topmost chakra in the subtle body, located in the crown of the head. In esoteric Hinduism and New Age western systems, it is generally considered to be the highest spiritual center and the state of pure consciousness, within which there is neither object nor subject. When the feminine Kundalini Shakti rises to this point, it unites with the masculine Shiva, the yogi or yogini achieves self-realization and a state of liberating samadhi is attained. The chakra is symbolized by a lotus with one thousand multi-coloured petals.[67]
In esoteric Buddhism, it is called Mahasukha and is generally considered to be the petal lotus of "Great Bliss" and corresponding to the fourth state of Four Noble Truths.
“What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? - it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.” -Jack Kerouac
“Guard Your Happiness” hangs in the private collection of Dominic Luciano the owner of the breakfast chain, Dominic’s House of Eggs.
“Raw Hide” stars Jacky and Craig. Two ten inch tall explorers with full size hearts. Jacky is a naturalist and conservationist, with a good job and an ordered life. He always is wanting to dissect and understand what makes things work, he likes things to be reliable. Craig is more of a thrill seeker. After a white water rafting accident that resulted in the loss of both of his arms, he has made it his mission to strike out into this great big world of ours. His big brother Jacky won’t let him do it alone. “Raw Hide” stars Wagner Helms as Jacky and Brad Jackson as Craig.
“For me, trees have always been the most penetrating preachers. I revere them when they live in tribes and families, in forests and groves. And even more I revere them when they stand alone. They are like lonely persons. Not like hermits who have stolen away out of some weakness, but like great, solitary men, like Beethoven and Nietzsche. In their highest boughs the world rustles, their roots rest in infinity; but they do not lose themselves there, they struggle with all the force of their lives for one thing only: to fulfil themselves according to their own laws, to build up their own form, to represent themselves. Nothing is holier, nothing is more exemplary than a beautiful, strong tree. When a tree is cut down and reveals its naked death-wound to the sun, one can read its whole history in the luminous, inscribed disk of its trunk: in the rings of its years, its scars, all the struggle, all the suffering, all the sickness, all the happiness and prosperity stand truly written, the narrow years and the luxurious years, the attacks withstood, the storms endured. And every young farmboy knows that the hardest and noblest wood has the narrowest rings, that high on the mountains and in continuing danger the most indestructible, the strongest, the ideal trees grow.” -Herman Hesse
“Eat real food.” - God
What will you do with it?”- Motivational Speaker
49 Million People Have Tried Online Dating. Online Dating is a Good Way to Meet Others, Say 59% of People. 66% of Users Have Dated Someone They Met Online. One-Fifth of Committed Relationships Began Online. 17% of Marriages Started Online. The Online Dating Gender Ratio is 52.4% Male vs. 47.6% Female. What’s More Important? 64% Say Shared Interest, 49% Say Looks. 23% of People Think Those Who Use Online Dating Are Desperate. 48% of Online Relationships End Via Email. 10% of Online Daters Quit After Three Months.
“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.”-Muhammad Ali
“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods” – Christopher Hitchens
“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” - Ben Franklin
“This is Going to End Terribly” stars Stella Bradshaw and Crosby Tructs as two down on their luck early thirty somethings with no direction or confidence who find a shoulder to cry on when they are stuck in a hospital elevator together. Although they are pessimists by nature, this chance meeting helps them to find the silver lining in their lives as well as the courage to take a chance on each other despite the knowledge that they both were given one week to live. Produced by Sam Crane and directed by Dana Lamb. Coming to theaters November, 2019.
In Greek tradition, the sphinx has the head of a human, the haunches of a lion, and sometimes the wings of a bird. It is mythicised as treacherous and merciless. Those who cannot answer its riddle suffer a fate typical in such mythological stories, as they are killed and eaten by this ravenous monster. This deadly version of a sphinx appears in the myth and drama of Oedipus. Unlike the Greek sphinx, which was a woman, the Egyptian sphinx is typically shown as a man (an androsphinx (Ancient Greek: Ανδρόσφιγξ)). In addition, the Egyptian sphinx was viewed as benevolent, but having a ferocious strength similar to the malevolent Greek version and both were thought of as guardians often flanking the entrances to temples.
Recent ultrasonic tests indicate a hidden chamber under the paws of the Sphinx. Some fringe archeologists suggest that perhaps a hidden technology lies encased beneath the sand.
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”- Rumi “That’s what she said.” - Michael Scott
“Fly or Die” is featured in this month’s Journal of Parapsychology beside a longitudinal study by Jacobs, Schmidt and Robinson (2017) showing corollary activation of neuronal pathways between human subjects in their early to late 20s and bird subjects before and during their first flight.
In Ancient Greek mythology, Medusa is the most famous of three monstrous sisters, known as the Gorgons. The earliest known record about the story of Medusa and the Gorgons can be found in Hesiod’s Theogony. According to this ancient author, the three sisters, Sthenno, Euryale, and Medusa were the children of Phorcys and Ceto, and lived “beyond famed Oceanus at the world’s edge hard by Night”. Of the three, only Medusa is said to be mortal, whilst Sthenno and Euryale were immortal. In addition, Medusa is the most famous of the three, and the story of her demise is also mentioned in passing by Hesiod.
Medusa Before She Was Cursed
Although Hesiod gives an account of Medusa’s origins and the death of Medusa at the hands of Perseus, he does not say more about her. By contrast, a more comprehensive account of Perseus and Medusa can be found in Ovid’s Metamorphoses. In this work, Ovid describes Medusa as originally being a beautiful maiden. Her beauty caught the eye of Poseidon, who desired her and proceeded to ravage her in Athena’s shrine. The goddess then sought vengeance by transforming Medusa’s hair into snakes, so that anyone who gazed at her directly would be turned into stone.
“Put a bird cage near the window so that the bird can see the sky? It's much better to look than not to, even if it hurts.” - Klaus Kinski
This piece hangs in the private collection of @stevewozniakofficial.
“The coming of honor or disgrace must be a reflection of one's inner power.” -Xun Kuang
“Heroes get remembered, legends never die.” - The Babe, Sandlot
“The men of experiment are like the ant; they only collect and use. But the bee...gathers its materials from the flowers of the garden and of the field, but transforms and digests it by a power of its own.”
- Leonardo da Vinci
Recent studies have shown that baby-boomers are the first generation to think that they might not die. Psychologist Nancy Martin explains, “...statistics show that maintaining a youthful state of mind can actually elongate your life by up to 45 years in some cases and promotes healthy sexual activity in seniors as old as 100 years of age. Even views based on incorrect data turn out to be beneficial due to the psychological advantage that the individual gains from the belief. Futurists and technologists help to validate aging ego’s natural blind spots, delaying the acceptance of the body’s eventual demise...this denial can be beneficial in many cases, it can be dangerous for individuals who have less healthy lifestyles that merely want to continue living the bygone days of their youth while ignoring the changes happening in their physiology.”
“You simply have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead.” - George Lucas
“Blessed Pain” has found a home in The Markoviardet Gallery in Reykjavik.
“Pay attention.”- Mrs. McDermott
